1). Never take on the role as sole disciplinarian, follow the lead of Mom. Ask her how would she would like you to
support her, while taking note of her style. You should not be expected to
raise the child alone, but are there for guidance to both Mom and child.
2). Take your time. Don’t rush to replace the other father. Most
times the father is still in the picture, if not, proceed carefully and ask the
child if they would like to participate in any activities with you.
3). Allow your wife/significant other to spend time with her
child(ren) without you being present (especially in the beginning). It signals
security on your part and helps to communicate that you are not there to
replace anyone.
4). Create new family rituals like vacations, dinners, sporting
events etc. that will slowly replace past rituals. Step-children feel
threatened when they are excluded and these activities will go a long way in
easing their insecurities.
5). When the time is right ask each individual child to spend one on
one time with you, take them to places like coffee shops, ice cream parlors
etc. Never to a movie, amusement part or other distracting activity. Use this
time to get to know the child by listening.
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